2020 03 19 Good Morning!
Not to dismiss the dire predictions for Coronavirus, several writing sites have suggested that we journal our home-bound experiences. Not so much for our contemporaries, but writing while we are locked-down, our mental meanderings just might be of interest 30 or 40 years from now. So I’m taking it on. Will I write daily until the tide turns? When will the pandemic taper off? We’ll see. Meanwhile, I’ll keep you company.
Putting my personal, non-newsworthy blog in perspective to the pandemic, I refer you to https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/. I’ll insert a graph that will heighten your awareness.
In no way am I dismissing the seriousness of the pandemic. People are very ill; people are dying; people are quarantined; people are out of work; childcare is hard to come by; and those who are living mouth-to-mouth, month-to-month are frantic. I understand that, but if I’ve learned anything in the past weeks, people are looking for a human touch. If you want straight news go to NPR or the New York Times or the Washington Post. If you want to hear from a neighbor, I’m that neighbor via my posts.
Not that I’m Mr. Rogers, but if you can identify with anything I write, we have a connection that goes beyond the confines of our homes.
March 17th (yes, I’m starting two weeks late, but…) going to Lowes’, our local grocery, I noted that every parking place was taken. I parked on the dirt next to a tethered Amish horse and buggy. Toilet paper, paper towels, and sanitizing handwipes were limited to two items per customer. The meat section was nearly out; eggs were out; yogurt was out; long-life milk was out; and nearly all canned fish and meat were out. One can of chorizo-flavored Spam was left. I bought that can.
HOWEVER, pineapple was selling for a dollar each (I bought two) and cantaloupe was cheap (I bought three). Most interesting of all was that although the aisles were exceptionally crowded with bumper-to-bumper traffic, everyone was friendly and courteous. Strangers whom I had never seen before initiated conversation.
Two thoughts came to mind: first, as we edge toward the unknown, is it best to have as many acquaintances as possible? Second, if we are high-risk in terms of dying, is it a good idea to leave with others having a good impression of us? Or… third, is everyone unconsciously scoring points should they stand before Saint Peter?
March 18th Not that we’re conscious of feeling anxious (speaking for myself, I’m still thinking of flying to Houston on April 4th), but I think whether or not we admit to feeling anxious, that anxiety is manifesting itself in dreams.
We all have anxiety dreams from time to time, but it has not escaped my notice that both Mark and I have experienced anxiety dreams in the past two nights. Our dreams that are so real that our breath quickens. We are running – out of breath. We are late or lost and completely disoriented. The dreams come to us in living color. Foreboding music plays in the background. The running and the ominous music pick up the pace as we near the climax. We awake with our teeth clenched and try to remember the sequence.
The dream is a hodgepodge of un-like pieces. Past and present are juxtaposed in a puzzle assembled by a blind man. In Mark’s dream, he was late to meet this mother and father (both deceased). Mark can’t remember where they had planned to meet, and unfortunately he had forgotten his cell phone. Wait a minute. His parents died before the age of cell phones. He can’t call them because they don’t have a phone! And on it goes.
March 19th We paid bills this morning. One bill was over a month due. I’m reminded how typically, I clean the house before we go on vacation. Just in case… what if we were to die on our trip? What if the neighbors came by and on seeing dog hair on the couch and crumbs on the counter, thought less of me than they might otherwise think?
Along these same lines, did I pay the dentist today because I wish to depart with a clean slate? Why did I pay today and not three weeks ago? Is this all a part of cleaning up?
We had chorizo flavored Spam for breakfast this morning – not particularly chorizo flavored but better than I would have thought Spam would taste. Perhaps I am haunted by the myth? that I heard in my youth. The myth being: Spam sells best in Hawaii because it tastes a lot like flesh, and many centuries ago, Hawaiians were partial to eating human flesh. Hum.m.m. Yes, not that I have ever tasted flesh, but eating Spam this morning I thought it might taste a lot like a sixth- month-old baby.
Oatmeal… I’m thinking that tomorrow we’ll have oatmeal for breakfast.
Give me a couple of days and I’ll keep you posted. Take care and keep those elbows out!